Monsoon Speaks!
Everyday life can make you believe, everything is perfect, experiencing happiness in moments, feeling happy in those moments, however your feelings do catch up with you. It might be every night, on some specific date or may be in moments that scratch your memory.
Monsoon was having one such problem, and she was suffering, suffering from indecision, decision of to let go or to hold on. That night, while returning from hospital, with Vidi’s word in her head.
“Don’t hurt Hera more than the hurt that you would cause him now, he has right to know.”
And she took the step, asked Hera to stop the bike, for a cup of tea near a garden, and the agenda was set.
Monsoon: “You know, in spite of me not loving you back, why do you persist?”
Hera: “My feelings for you, I do not hide them from you, but then I fear of losing you altogether, you are more to me than just a love interest, you are a good friend!”
Monsoon: “Does it not hurt you?”
Hera: “My feelings, I am able to take care of them!”
Monsoon: “So! i am your friend, am I not?”
Hera: “Yes! You are, a good one at that, one of the best!”
Monsoon: “I want to talk to you, just like a friend, can I?”
Hera: “Yes! Go ahead!”
Monsoon: “I lived in a village and like many families, mine is also a closely nit religious, caste based family, we often marry among our relatives, and there was this guy in my community.”
Monsoon paused for a moment, trying to sense the hurt in Hera’s heart.
Hera: “Go on!”
Monsoon: “I fell in love with him, and he became my friend then. I never uttered a word about love to him, waiting for him to propose. And we started going out together, using our group as a screen, for in village you are not supposed to be seen with guys.”
Hera: “Yes! And if one is unfortunate enough to be seen with a guy, marriage is quick on cards, so what happened next?”
Monsoon: “True! So we took care that we were never seen together alone, and then we had our board exams. And unfortunately he did not fare well in them.”
Hera thinking to himself, this might cause me my grades too, typical of us guys!
Monsoon: “And he was left behind in village, and I came to engineering college, now our match was less likely to get our parents blessings, but still I loved him, however, he stopped loving me back. Those faint signs of love vanished, slowly by slowly, last time I went home, I learnt about his match being decided with one of my cousin sister who knew about us, and it is a kind of love marriage!”
She had tears in her eyes, but she was not crying, she was being strong. Hera sipped some tea, taking the hint, Monsoon did the same.
Hera: “Then?”
Monsoon: “When I returned, I see a guy in co-ed college, and he becomes friends with me, he smiles, behaves, looks at me the way I wanted village guy to look at me, he is everything I wanted in village guy, and he even looks very similar to village guy, except he is fairer! He cares for me and loves me whether I love him or not, but his face reminds me of my first love, and I am happy with him till he is in front of me thinking I am with my first love, but it is not him, it is you!”
And a tear flows down her cheek.
Monsoon: “It is you, it is you….and that is why I can not love you!”
Hera has tears in his eyes, the face that he was proud of, was the reason his love was not loving him back! His heart took the punch and it broke for the first time. There was no way, he could change his face, and there was not going to be anyway he could not be with her without hurting her! After a long pause….
Hera: “I did not know, I am sorry, I think it is getting late, we should get going!”
Monsoon: “Why are you being sorry, you did not do anything!”
Hera: “I did hurt your feelings, by just being there!”
One thing worse than being a shoulder to support the one you love on the rebound is looking like the person she broke up with, and Hera knew it would be hard for her to let go unless he let her go, but he was not ready as yet.
Hera: “Good Night! Have a good sleep!”
Monsoon: Wiped her tears, and smiled! “Good Night!”
And then; it was time for rains!
